Have you ever wished you could be somebody else? Not necessarily a specific person that already existed, but have you ever wished you were just a different person? Or even if your feelings weren’t quite that extreme, have you ever wished you could be more like someone you knew?
While some percentage of people would answer “yes” to each of those questions, the latter is probably more relatable. Even with a high level of healthy self esteem, there were likely still times you were envious of others’ abilities. Maybe you grew up wishing you could be as athletic as one of your friends or as artistic as another one. It’s pretty normal, especially as kids, to be jealous of the talents others possess that you do not, even if it turns out that there was something they secretly wished they could do as well as you.
But exactly how far would you let this jealousy take you? For most children, it would likely result in a somewhat irrational hatred of the person. Maybe they were the nicest person in the world, but you refused to be friends with them because you were too jealous. Or maybe you did become friends, but you would continually make subtle digs at them in a subconscious attempt to make them feel as bad about themselves as they were unknowingly making you feel.
There’s even a term for that, “frenemies”, because kids can be so cruel we need to invent words to describe what little assholes they are.
Not everything has to be so mean-spirited though. Maybe you used your jealousy as motivation, determined to try your best and practice whatever skill they excelled at until you could surpass your imaginary rival. Of course that response is more likely with adults, since as we mature we gain a better understanding of our skills and weaknesses, as well as really internalizing the objective reality that nobody can actually be good at everything, and that’s okay.
While those are the most likely scenarios for how you dealt with jealousy, there are unfortunately other possibilities. What if you grew so envious of somebody that you wanted to steal their life; to remove them from the equation so that you could become that person?
We Can Dance If We Want To
Rachel Barber was born on September 12, 1983 in Glen Alvie, a small town in Bass Coast Shire in Victoria, Australia. Glen Alvie was beyond tiny, likely with fewer than 100 people at the time. Even the wider Shire of Bass (the smaller predecessor to Bass Coast Shire), only had a population of about 3,600 people throughout the entire 526 square kilometer area, or a population density of less than 7 people per square kilometer.
To give some frame of reference to American readers who don’t think in terms of kilometers, picture a typical suburb near a major city. Now instead of it having 30,000 people, imagine there were only 140 people. That’s how sparsely populated this area was. Rachel was just a small town girl, living in a lonely, Australian hinterland.
While living in Glen Alvie, Rachel’s parents, Michael and Elizabeth, had two more daughters. Ashleigh-Rose was four years younger than Rachel, and Heather was six years younger. In 1992 when Rachel was eight, the family packed up and moved to Mont Albert, a suburb of Melbourne. The move was made on the recommendation of Rachel’s ballet instructors, who saw real promise in the girl and thought she’d be better served training at the Melbourne Dance Academy.
Rachel came from a family of creative types: her grandfather, Ivan Southall, was a well known YA fiction author, her father was a toymaker, and her mother also went on to become a writer. Her sisters played instruments as well. Given this, it’s not really a surprise that Rachel’s parents would nourish her more artistic dreams rather than sitting her down in a chair and forcing her to focus more on academics so she could grow up and get a “real” job. That’s not to say that Rachel didn’t take her classes seriously, but she struggled academically.
It wasn’t because of a lack of effort, she just couldn’t understand the material. But she didn’t struggle with dance. Not only did she love it, but she was exceptionally talented.
Mont Albert was a much more densely populated area than Glen Alvie was, not that that’s saying much. Technically the population was under 4,000 when the Barbers moved there, but it’s also only 1.6 square kilometers. Basically it was somewhere in between a suburb and a major city in terms of population density. The main point is that she went from living in an extremely rural community to having her daily life much more closely resemble what the majority of people would be familiar with.
While living in Mont Albert, the Barbers became friends with the Reids who lived across the street. David and Gail Reid also had three daughters, though their ages didn’t line up with the Barbers. Their oldest daughter, Caroline, was almost five years older than Rachel, but Elizabeth Reid and Ashleigh-Rose were about the same age, so the two became friends. Since she was older, Caroline would sometimes babysit for Rachel and her sisters as well.
In a way they were unlikely friends, as the families were almost polar opposites. The Reids were a solidly middle class family, maybe even bordering on upper middle class. But what they had in financial stability, they lacked in happiness. Gail had suffered from depression ever since she had Caroline.
Postpartum depression usually only lasts for a few months, though this may have been one of the rare cases where it persisted for much longer. It’s also possible that she had been depressed long before having children and nobody noticed. It would’ve been the 1970s at that point, so that’s definitely not out of the question. Regardless, Gail was depressed, David was simultaneously absent and authoritarian, both allegedly may have been abusive, and it wasn’t going to be the happiest home life in general.
The Barbers, on the other hand, were not doing the best financially. They were able to keep their heads above water and even enable their daughters to explore the arts, but they were also essentially living paycheck to paycheck. It wasn’t the ideal situation, but they had each other and that was what mattered. They were a loving and happy family, and they enjoyed being together. Rachel would even direct plays involving her and her sisters, performing for a room full of their parents’ applause.
But even though the families were a bit of an odd pairing, Ashleigh-Rose and Elizabeth Reid wouldn’t have cared about that. They were only 5 or 6 years old, so they would have just seen that there was a girl their same age across the street and just said, “Let’s be friends and go play with dolls or play hopscotch.”
A few years after making the move, Elizabeth Barber and Gail would become closer following Gail and David’s divorce. While living in Mont Albert and attending her regular school, Rachel also was enrolled in the Melbourne Dance Academy. She was quickly becoming an accomplished dancer who seemed like she was genuinely going to go places. Perhaps the most impressive of her achievements was scoring work as a backup dancer for Australian rock singer Jimmy Barnes.
If that name means nothing to you, don’t worry. But in Australia he’s apparently fucking Elvis. Barnes has more number one albums in Australia than anyone else, beating out the likes of The Beatles and Taylor Swift, and that’s only counting his solo career. He had another five number one albums as lead singer of Cold Chisel. Even though her focus was ballet and classical dance, this sort of gig would have been a huge deal and a great way to get her name and face out there to future casting agents.
In December of 1997, the Barbers moved homes again, and life was continuing as normal for the family. Shortly after the move, Rachel began dating fellow dancer Emmanuelle Carella, who went by Manni. The two fell completely in love, something that Rachel didn’t hide at all. Kids can be pretty secretive about relationships, especially when it comes to their families, but she was nothing if not honest.
The first time Rachel brought Manni to visit her grandmother, Rachel gave her a hug and whispered “Don’t you think Manni’s wonderful Nan? Will you welcome him into our family?”
Rachel was continuing her classes at the Melbourne Dance Academy, putting on shows for her parents with her little sisters, getting actual dancing gigs, and still struggling academically. For many of us growing up that last one would have felt like the end of the world, especially with so much pressure being put on kids to attend the best college possible. But for Rachel, this wasn’t really the biggest deal.
Don’t get me wrong, she genuinely was trying to do well in her classes and was upset that she couldn’t understand the material as easily as other kids could, but she also didn’t really need it. Not only had she found something she would have loved to do as a career, but she was the rare type of talent that could actually make that dream a reality. And when you have that combination of innate talent and drive, you and everyone around you will know.
Rachel really seemed to have that chance, and as such it was no surprise to Rachel’s parents when, on her 15th birthday, she asked to drop out of school so she could enroll full time at the Dance Factory in Richmond. It seemed like the most logical move to all of them. Rachel had the talent, the motivation, and had already had some amazing opportunities. Not only would enrolling at the Dance Factory give her the best training available, it could allow her to make connections and open up doors for more opportunities in the future, helping her to really make a career out of it.
While Michael was firmly on board with his daughter’s plan, Elizabeth had some reservations. She had no objection to Rachel dropping out of her traditional high school to go to the Dance Factory, the timing was just a little awkward since Rachel’s birthday was in the middle of September.
For those of us in the northern hemisphere, this probably sounds like it would line up perfectly. Up here the school year typically starts in August or September and runs until May or June. But in the southern hemisphere, the school year usually coincides with the calendar year. This meant it was nearing the end of the school year, so Rachel wouldn’t be able to start at the Dance Factory until January.
Elizabeth was willing to let Rachel drop out of school, but she couldn’t just sit on her ass for the next two and a half months. Until January rolled around, she was going to need to either get a damn job or find some other productive use of her time. For the rest of September Rachel went out hunting for jobs, but she wasn’t able to find one. It was difficult to find somebody willing to hire a 15 year old who only wanted a job for two months, and it sounds like Rachel was so compulsively honest that she would have revealed that detail to her potential employers instead of lying to get a job like a normal person.
Of course, it didn’t matter that she wasn’t able to find a job. Elizabeth had given two possible choices for how Rachel should spend her time: either a job, or something productive. The latter would certainly include dancing, so after failing to find a job Rachel went to speak to the Dance Factory’s creative director. The director was impressed by her gumption, so Rachel was allowed to begin classes immediately.
It may seem weird for a new transfer student to show up two months before the end of the year, but she had no trouble fitting in and making friends. It certainly didn’t hurt matters that her boyfriend, Manni, also attended the Dance Factory.
That’s actually where they met, as Rachel had been taking casual dance classes there in addition to her classes at the Melbourne Dance Academy. She was now enrolled at her dream school and working towards her dream career alongside her dream boyfriend. Rachel was a beautiful and talented girl living her best life, surrounded by loving friends and family. Her family even loved Manni and thought she couldn’t have possibly picked a better boyfriend.
The couple would talk on the phone every night before bed in addition to the time they spent together throughout the day.
February 28th, 1999, turned out to be a pretty good day for Rachel. She and Elizabeth had breakfast, then they went into town to go shopping for some new dance pants. Like mentioned earlier, the Barbers weren’t exactly wealthy. To be fair, they were raising three kids who were actively involved in extracurriculars, so even if both parents were decently successful it would still be difficult to have a lot of extra money lying around.
Dance clothes are supposed to be rather form fitting, so you can’t really buy them a couple sizes too big and let the kid grow into them. Every time Rachel grew she’d need new pants and shoes and whatever else for dance, plus they would occasionally tear and need to be replaced as well. Dance was about the most expensive sport she could have taken up besides ice hockey.
But the point of all this is that Michael and Elizabeth didn’t acquiesce to their daughters’ every whims. These trips to get new dance clothes would have been pretty routine, but if Rachel wanted anything that wasn’t either for dance or for basic survival then she could either find a way to get it herself or wait until her birthday. On this day, however, Elizabeth decided that she was going to do something extra after all.
The family’s pet cat had passed away some time earlier, and ever since then Rachel had been constantly asking her mother if they could get a new one. Despite already being told “no” 100 times, Rachel asked again that day and this time her mother said yes. They went to a pet store in Bayswater, another Melbourne suburb, to see what kittens were available. As far as can be told they didn’t actually bring a kitten home that day, there was probably going to be a family discussion about the different options available, but Rachel was extremely excited that they were finally getting a new pet.
That night the phone rang twice at the Barber home, first at about 5:30 then 5:45. Both times Rachel answered the phone, and both times she was cheerfully talking and laughing like she did every other night when she talked to Manni. Unfortunately, neither of those phone calls was from Manni.
Rachel’s Disappearance
The next morning, Monday, March 1st, Rachel put on her dance clothes to get ready for school. She grabbed her backpack, sliding something special inside it, and began telling her father to hurry up so she wouldn’t be late. Most mornings, on her father’s way to work, he would drop her off at the tram station so she could take it into Richmond for school. For those in America, a “tram” is what we would refer to as a “trolley”.
Rachel was in a particular hurry that morning because she was going to her friend Kylie’s house for breakfast before school. Normally if she missed the first tram she could take the next one and still be on time for school, but if she missed the first tram that day there’d be no time for breakfast with her friends. Once Michael was ready to go, Rachel yelled to her mother before running out to the car.
When you don’t know you’re about to die and are just going about a normal day, it’s really easy to leave your loved ones with some pretty unremarkable or even potentially hurtful last words. Elizabeth could take the tiniest bit of solace in the fact that Rachel’s last words to her were, “Goodbye, I love you” rather than something like “Don’t forget to pick up a box of mac and cheese.”
They drove off to the tram station, and Michael told her that he’d pick her up at that same station at 6:15 that night. Rachel said she would be there, which is honestly a bit weird. She knew she wasn’t going to be there at 6:15, and this was before cell phones so there would be no way for her parents to reach her and make sure she was okay. And as a rule, Rachel always kept her promises.
But she was also keeping a secret, something that was very uncharacteristic for her. After leaving the station, Rachel walked to Kylie’s house to have breakfast with her, Manni, and Manni’s brother Dominic. Rachel took Manni out to the courtyard and pulled the special item out of her bag. It was a big purple cushion in the shape of a heart with a pink ribbon on it and a card that said “You’ve captured my heart.”
She told him, “This is my heart to you. I want you to treasure it for the rest of your life. I want you to hold it. I want you to know that I’ll never leave you.”
This was presumably a late Valentine’s Day present since Manni’s birthday wasn’t until June, but whatever the occasion it was a really cute gift.
A little after 10 am the four of them walked to school together, and the school day proceeded uneventfully. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary with Rachel’s behaviour that day, though during class she mentioned to a friend that she had big plans that night. She couldn’t say what it was, but she was going to make a lot of money.
School got out at about 5:30 that evening, and Rachel set out with Manni and their friends down the street. While they were walking, Rachel pulled Manni into a shoe store because there was something she wanted to show him. There was a special pair of shoes she had been eyeing for weeks, a pair of blue Spice Girls platform sneakers. You know, in case you needed a reminder that this was the 1990s.
It’s unlikely Manni was surprised that his 15 year old girlfriend would be enamored with Spice Girls merch, but what she did next absolutely surprised him. She took them up to the counter and asked the salesperson to put the shoes aside, because she was going to come back the next day to buy them. Manni was shocked, because the sneakers cost 100 dollars. That’s more than Rachel’s parents could afford to spend on her for Christmas, so they sure as Hell weren’t going to give her money to buy the sneakers just because.
When Manni asked how on Earth she was going to be able to afford them, she explained that she had a big opportunity that night where she’d get free clothes and a ton of money. An old female friend of hers had come to her with the opportunity, but she wasn’t allowed to tell anybody the details. Not her parents, not her boyfriend, not even Jesus. She could tell him about it once it was all over, but until then it had to be a secret.
After that, she gave him a kiss and promised to call him like she did every night before they split up to go to their respective tram stations.
At this point Rachel was only walking with her friend Tamara, but Tamara was confused when Rachel didn’t go to her normal station. Rachel said that her father was picking her up at the end of the line. Tamara offered to walk with her, but Rachel said she was fine and walked off on her own. For the next few days, it would be believed that was the last time anybody saw Rachel alive.
When 6:15 rolled around, Michael was waiting at the same tram station he dropped Rachel off at earlier that day. She wasn’t there, but he wasn’t too concerned. Granted she was always there on time, but maybe she missed the tram for some reason and would be on the next one. Except when the next tram arrived, she wasn’t on that either. Michael waited at the station for another hour with no sight of his daughter, at which point he decided to drive to his parents’ house in a nearby city.
It was about 7:40 by the time Michael made it to his parents’ house so he could call Elizabeth. And at this point, she was fully freaked out. Ever since he and Rachel hadn’t walked through the door at 6:30, she had been working herself into a panicked frenzy about all the different things that could have happened to them. While part of her assumed they were probably fine and maybe had been in a minor accident or got a flat tire that was taking forever to deal with, she couldn’t calm her anxiety.
When she heard Michael’s voice on the other end of the line she was relieved at first, until she heard how worried he sounded. He explained the situation, and Elizabeth suggested that he check a different tram station. Elizabeth sometimes dropped Rachel off at the tram in the morning, and she did so at a different station than Michael because it was the one that was on her way to work. Maybe Rachel had just been running on autopilot after a long day and got off at the wrong station, so Michael could check there while Elizabeth called the police.
She called the police station in Box Hill, since it was the closest station to the tram where they had expected to find Rachel. The police asked typical questions, like her name and age, as well as a bunch of questions about Rachel’s day that Elizabeth obviously wouldn’t have the answer to. When she said that Rachel had only been missing a few hours, the police told her that it was probably just a miscommunication and not to worry, but that if Michael didn’t find her at the other tram station that they could come file an official missing persons report.
By 1999 standards, this wasn’t necessarily an unreasonable response. Mistakes and miscommunications happen all the time, nobody had cell phones yet, and Rachel may not have had any change for a payphone. Regardless, Michael went to the station while Elizabeth continued making phone calls to Rachel’s friends.
Manni mentioned the trip to the shoe store, but as far as can be told he didn’t yet mention Rachel saying she had a job with an old friend that night. Kylie said that Rachel had seemed perfectly normal all day as well. Most importantly, Rachel had promised to call Manni that night as usual and had made plans to have breakfast at Kylie’s house again the next day, so all evidence suggested that she fully expected to go back home that night.
Michael didn’t find Rachel at the second tram station either. This wasn’t like her at all. She was an honest girl who always did what she said she would, so she should’ve been at the station. Even if there was some sort of mix up, Rachel certainly would have found a way to call home by now, as she would be anxious to get a ride. It was nightfall in the southern hemisphere, and Rachel was afraid both of the dark and of walking alone at night.
Ever since she was a child, Rachel had always been a bit of a scaredy-cat. When she was a little girl she tried to watch the movie E.T., and within five minutes of it starting she got so scared that she made her parents lock the VHS tape in the trunk of the car and deadbolt the garage door shut. To be fair though, E.T. does open kind of like a B horror movie, with ominous music and lots of first person perspective of running through the woods at night.
Similarly, her fear of walking alone at night wasn’t unjustified either. Aside from being a pretty rational fear for a teenage girl to have in general, there had been a specific incident a few months prior to this. Rachel was walking alone one night when two men started following her.
It doesn’t seem that anything physical happened to her that night, though it’s possible that they were either trying to talk to her or loudly making inappropriate comments about her to one another. Either way, it was enough to keep her from walking alone at night, so it’s unlikely that she would have tried to walk home from either of the tram stations rather than waiting for a ride or finding a way to call her house.
With Rachel still nowhere in sight and every reason to believe that something was wrong, Michael did the only logical thing and drove to the Box Hill police station to file an official report. The first 24 hours of a missing person case are the most important, so it only made sense to go to the police station closest to where she was last expected to be.
Worst Police Department Ever
Michael arrived at the Box Hill police station at about 8:45 that night to file a report for his missing daughter. The officer on duty filled out the paperwork, but he didn’t seem concerned at all. And it would even be reasonable to give him the initial benefit of the doubt. It had been little more than two hours since she was supposed to be at the tram station, and it was an era before cell phones.
Rachel was a 15 year old girl, maybe she went out with friends and lost track of time or forgot to tell her parents she had plans or something. Parents got worried and overreacted all the time, so it’s understandable the officer not immediately putting out an APB.
But once Michael began explaining more details, it should have been clear that this wasn’t your typical, rebellious teenager who was staying out past dinner without calling. Rachel had never tried to run away, and she was never late getting picked up. Elizabeth had already called Rachel’s friends and boyfriend, and none of them had seen her since school where she was acting completely normal and making future plans with them. This disappearance was extremely out of character, and there was every reason to take it serious.
But the officer disagreed.
Despite Michael doing everything he could to convey how out of line this was with Rachel’s typical behaviour, the only thing the officer heard was, “teenage girl is acting like an obnoxious teenager.” The officer filled out the official report, but he told Michael to just go home and not worry so much because this sort of thing happens all the time; Rachel would probably show up at the house later that night.
Michael did go home, but he did not merely stay put. The tram station was where they last expected Rachel to be, but Richmond was the last place that they knew she had been. The two drove to Richmond, driving throughout the city and calling out Rachel’s name on the off chance that they might actually stumble across her, or at least some sign of her. This proved to be a fruitless endeavor, so after hours of searching they finally went home.
By the next morning, Rachel still wasn’t home. Michael and Elizabeth dropped Ashleigh-Rose and Heather off at school, then they went back home to collect photographs to bring to the police station to aid them in their search. They made a couple phone calls before going back to the police, but Rachel hadn’t been to Kylie’s house for breakfast and she hadn’t shown up for class. With that disappointing information at their disposal, they headed back to the Box Hill police station.
They told the officer on duty at the desk that they had brought pictures of Rachel that they could use on missing posters or to help identify her. This was a sensible step to take, but the officer just had one question for them: who the Hell was Rachel Barber? Whoever was working the previous night had filled out the report, but he hadn’t taken it seriously at all. The police hadn’t spent any time searching for her the previous night, and the new shift of officers had no idea somebody had been reported missing.
So they had to explain the entire story all over again.
The Barbers said that they filed the report the night before, but the officer couldn’t find it. It took a second police officer to come assist him in solving the case of the missing paperwork, something that must have been absolutely devastating for the parents of a missing girl to witness. But maybe it was just the previous officer that was willing to dismiss their concerns. Now that Rachel had been missing for nearly 24 hours, perhaps the department was going to take it seriously and actually investigate what happened.
Michael and Elizabeth drove to the Dance Factory, and when school got out they had Manni take them to the shoe store from the day before. The girl working there recognized Rachel’s picture, because she came in frequently to admire the blue Spice Girls sneakers. She confirmed that Rachel had asked for the shoes to be put aside for her, but that she hadn’t come back for them yet.
Unsure what else to do, Michael and Elizabeth began tracing what they assumed would have been Rachel’s steps from the store to the tram station. They stopped into several more stores, and all of the employees recognized Rachel’s picture, though none had seen her that day. However, one had a piece of information that was certainly a cause for concern.
The different states and territories of Australia have different laws, just like states in the US. Sex work across Australia ranges from technically legal but de facto prohibited, to being no different than any other job and not subject to criminal penalties. Victoria was somewhere in the middle, with brothels being legal and regulated, though illegal brothels were still plentiful. There were various advantages to running an illegal brothel, such as keeping your money hidden from the tax man, but another potential advantage was that an illegal brothel could offer illegal services.
A manager at one of the shops mentioned to the Barbers that he had read a newspaper article about a man who had just been released from prison for running such a brothel. If he was trying to start up his business again, he or one of his associates could have tried to lure Rachel in with the offer of a modeling job so that they could kidnap and traffic her. It was a terrifying thought, but if it was true then at least Rachel would almost certainly be alive.
The Barbers were able to track down a copy of the newspaper article, and they took it to the Richmond police department to explain their story and how this person’s recent prison release could be a potential lead. But the police were powerless to help the Barbers, because they had already opened an investigation with the Box Hill police department. As understood, if a person goes missing in one jurisdiction in the United States and there’s reason to believe they may now be in a different jurisdiction, another investigation will be opened in the second jurisdiction and the departments will work together.
It’s difficult to fathom why Australia wouldn’t do the same thing, or why they couldn’t at least refer the case to the Victoria state police since it was across city lines. Even worse, when the Barbers asked if they could withdraw their report from Box Hill and open a new investigation in Richmond, the answer was no.
Unable to defeat bureaucratic bullshit, Michael and Elizabeth went back out to visit stores and see if anybody had seen something. Because somebody had to do the police’s job for them. These discussions with the local workers were a bit of a mixed bag. There were some horrible stories about nearby gang violence and girls being trafficked, but some of the stores did what they could to help as well.
One store owner used a picture of Rachel to print out a pile of missing posters that the Barbers could hang and distribute, while the owner of a coffee shop that Rachel and Manni frequented gave the Barbers the phone number of a police detective he was friends with. A worker at a nearby dress shop also had some information for Michael that potentially could have been a lead.
The night before this, the same night that Rachel disappeared, a female customer at the dress store had waited around until closing and then started following one of the employees home. After walking for a bit she approached the worker and told her how pretty she was, then said that she could make a lot of money working at the Daily Planet. The employee wasn’t interested in getting a second job at a brothel, so she politely declined. But the worker speculated to Michael that perhaps someone tried to recruit Rachel in the same way, and maybe she had even agreed because she misunderstood and believed she was being offered a modeling job.
When they returned home, Michael called the police detective to set up a meeting for the next day and Elizabeth called the Daily Planet. The brothel insisted that they didn’t hire underage girls, which is almost certainly true since this was one of the legal and regulated brothels, but they gave Elizabeth the phone number for what was basically the Victoria sex workers’ union. Weekends are the busiest days for sex workers, so the union told Elizabeth that if Rachel hadn’t turned up by Friday that she should call back with Rachel’s description. If she had been kidnapped and was going to be trafficked that weekend, they had people that would know how to find her.
It was another sleepless night for the Barbers, after which they went to their meeting with Detective Neil Paterson. Unfortunately, Paterson worked for the Richmond police department, so his hands were tied in terms of actually investigating the case. He seemed to genuinely feel bad about it though, and he promised to call Box Hill to find out what the Hell was going on and basically attempt to light a fire under their asses.
After the meeting, the Barbers went to the Dance Factory to see if there was any news. The Box Hill police department had said they were going to go to the school and interrogate people, and by this point it was already well into the afternoon. However, when the Barbers arrived they discovered that the police had never bothered to show up. Rachel’s dance teacher was furious as well, as she had called the police multiple times over her missing student.
It seemed that nothing anybody said or did was going to make a difference to the police.
Elizabeth called Detective Paterson again, and he had spoken with the Box Hill police like he had promised. It did not go well. According to Box Hill, 97% of missing persons come back home within 48 hours and most of the others return within five days. Even if that number was accurate for the 1990s, who cares? You’re the police, it is literally your job to find that percentage of people that haven’t gone away for a few days of their own volition.
But the police had made up their minds. They were going to run out that five day clock as best as they could before actually making Rachel’s disappearance a priority. However, by this point Manni had remembered to tell Elizabeth what Rachel said about having a job with an old female friend. When Paterson heard this story, he told her that she should compile a list of all of Rachel’s friends so the police would have something to work with.
The only problem was that Elizabeth couldn’t remember all of Rachel’s friends. She’d switched schools multiple times in the past several years, so trying to remember the people Rachel had been friends with years ago wasn’t exactly a simple task. Elizabeth called Rachel’s previous school to try to get a list of people her daughter had been known to associate with, but the school refused.
They claimed it was because there were privacy laws since Rachel was a minor, and that Elizabeth would need the police to request a list for her. That makes sense, especially since they had no way to verify over the phone if Elizabeth even was who she said she was, so she called the Box Hill police station to get it sorted.
And of course, when she called the station, the officer on the phone had one simple question for Elizabeth: who the Hell was Rachel Barber? This is not New York City or something. The Box Hill police station serves about 14,000 people in an area of 3.5 square km (1.4 square miles). Even if the police aren’t all actively involved in the investigation, they should absolutely at least know Rachel’s name and what she looks like in the off chance they see her somewhere.
Since the officer on the other end of the phone had never heard of Rachel, Elizabeth was forced to repeat the entire story to the Box Hill police yet again. Except there wasn’t really any reason to make her tell the story again, because once she was done the officer informed her that they couldn’t actually get that information from the school. Which is absolutely a lie, they just didn’t feel like it.
It’s true that if the police rolled up to the school and asked for this information, the school could potentially refuse to give it to them. But theoretically if that were to happen, that’s when you have a detective get on the phone with a judge and say, “Hey, I have this extremely important lead on a missing girl, and I need your signature on a warrant yesterday.”
Michael and Elizabeth decided to bring some missing posters to the Richmond police station so they could put them up and hand them out and do literally anything to help. One of the officers told them they should just go home and get some rest, which they desperately needed. It was Wednesday afternoon at this point, and they had been searching pretty much nonstop for the past two days. Normally this would be considered good advice from the officer, but normally the advice would also be prefaced with, “we’re doing everything we can to find your daughter”, which was obviously not the case.
It wasn’t until the following day that the Box Hill police department finally decided to do their jobs and investigate Rachel’s disappearance. Sort of, anyway. They didn’t actually try to follow up on the lead about an old female friend of Rachel having a job for her, assuming the officer that took that phone call even told anybody else about it. The police were of the opinion that Rachel had run away, and they were going to do their best to try to prove that theory while ignoring everything else.
The police spent Thursday at the school interrogating Rachel’s friends and classmates, the thing they had promised to do on Tuesday. They focused on Manni, thinking that maybe he had gotten Rachel pregnant so she ran away. They also discovered something written in one of her schoolbooks about her back hurting. To the police, this was a clear indication that the pressures of dance were becoming too much for the young girl.
That’s not really a logical conclusion to draw from that statement, but it was the police’s conclusion and nobody was going to talk them out of it. The fact that Rachel’s wallet was found in her school locker didn’t seem to dissuade them either. Because what sort of person brings their wallet with them when they run away?
On Friday, police finally came to search Rachel’s room for any sign of clues. And they found something. There was a brochure for a modeling class Rachel had taken a few months earlier, and stapled to the back of the brochure were two notes, handwritten by Rachel. One said “runaways”, and the other said, “station, go to Manni, $50-80, three special things”. These notes were everything the police needed to confirm their theory.
Rachel wanted to run away, so she was going to meet Manni at a station, bring $50-80 cash to help them start their new life together, and bring three special things that reminded her of home. That’s not an outrageous conclusion to draw based on the notes, but when Michael saw them he had an alternative explanation.
According to him, those notes had been written back in November when Rachel was taking the modeling course in the brochure. She was afraid of taking public transportation by herself, which isn’t unreasonable, so Manni would meet her at the station, ride with her to class, and wait there for the class to get out so he could ride back with her. The rest of the note was related to Christmas. Dance was expensive, so Rachel’s parents had told her that the budget for her Christmas presents was going to be $50-80 and to plan accordingly when making her wish list.
The “three special things” referred to what she wanted to do for Manni. She had told her father she wanted to get him three special things for Christmas.
The police completely dismissed these explanations. As soon as Michael saw the note for the first time he was able to immediately identify what everything on it meant without needing time to think, but that wasn’t good enough. Plus, neither he nor Elizabeth could explain what “runaways” meant at the time. According to the police, all the evidence indicated that Rachel had chosen to run away of her own free will.
They then gave the Barbers the most insane piece of unsolicited advice: the police said they should probably see a therapist and focus on their other two daughters.
With the police refusing to help, the Barbers racked their brains to think of any other possible leads. Elizabeth did come up with something, but it seemed like a long shot. There was this work associate of hers that she had been friends with, until he turned out to be a creepy stalker. There was a lot of disturbing behaviour from this guy, but it had all come to a head two weeks before Rachel’s disappearance, when the guy showed up at their house.
He was walking around the house peering through windows, typical stalker behaviour. Eventually he left and the phone rang. Elizabeth answered it, and after a long pause he finally spoke, repeating her name over and over again, at which point she slammed the receiver back down on the phone.
Later that night Elizabeth took a shower, and when she got out she heard voices coming from downstairs. She went to see who was there, and saw her stalker standing inside her house talking to Ashleigh-Rose and Heather. That was the last straw, and she threw him out of her house, making it emphatically clear that this was inappropriate and that whatever he thought was going to happen absolutely never was.
As far as she knew that had been the end of it, but now Elizabeth was wondering what if it wasn’t? Had this guy started stalking Rachel so he could kidnap her as vengeance for being rejected? While it seemed unlikely, it was a possible lead that was at least worth investigation. They had also figured out that “runaways” was the name of a pair of running shoes Rachel had wanted, so they now had explanations for everything on Rachel’s notes.
Even if the lead was nothing, this new piece of information might be enough for the police to take Rachel’s disappearance seriously.
It was mid-afternoon that Friday when Michael and Elizabeth went back to the police station to provide this new information. When they arrived, there was a secretary behind the desk who informed them that all of the police were already gone for the day. According to Elizabeth, the secretary then said, “Like everyone else, they are entitled to time off. You have already had a lot of police hours this week, and you’re not the only parents of missing persons.”
Nobody should have to work 24/7, but for important services like police, firefighters, and doctors, they also shouldn’t all be off the clock at the same time. Second, the Barbers did not use a lot of police hours that week, unless you count all the time spent telling each new cop on duty about their daughter because nobody was actually doing anything about the case or actively looking for her. Finally, “you’re not the only parents of missing persons” is not the flex this lady thought it was, it’s more an indictment of the inefficacy of their police department.
Elizabeth tried to explain that she had new information about the case, but the woman was no more interested in what she had to say than any of the police officers were. It was at this point that Elizabeth finally lost it. She ran out of the station, threw her purse at a parked cop car, and repeatedly screamed that they were going to let her little girl die.
Officers immediately ran out of the station to calm her down and bring her back inside, because of course the entire police force wasn’t off duty at the same time; they just hadn’t wanted to talk to the Barbers. They still didn’t really want to, but they were willing to at least humour her a little bit. Of course, first they had to make sure that Elizabeth knew she’d be arrested if she assaulted a police cruiser again.
Nothing came of this potential lead, and the police still seemed convinced that Rachel had willingly run away. The weekend dragged on in the same fashion. The Barbers went out searching for their daughter, and the police did absolutely nothing to help them.
At one point, the Barbers realized that maybe their phone records could be useful, so they called the phone company to see if they could get a copy of their call logs in the days leading up to Rachel’s disappearance. The phone company said that they could provide a list of outgoing calls, but for privacy reasons they couldn’t supply the list of incoming calls. As you might expect, the Barbers asked the police if they could request the list of incoming calls, and the police claimed that they were unable to.
They absolutely were able to, even if it might require a warrant, but they just couldn’t be bothered. Rachel had run away, and her parents just needed to accept that fact.
That’s what the police thought anyway, until Sunday when a phone call came in to the police station from a girl who was about to blow the case wide open.
The Investigation Finally Begins
Allison was the older sister of one of Rachel’s friends from school, and she also happened to have a photographic memory. She of course would have heard that Rachel was missing, but when she saw one of the posters that had been put up, she noticed it said that Rachel had last been seen on March 1st at 5:45 pm. Allison immediately called the police after reading that, because she realized that she was the last person to have seen Rachel.
Allison had been riding on the number 6 tram at 6:40 pm when Rachel boarded it, accompanied by another female, at the intersection of Chapel and High Streets. Allison told the police that, although the two clearly knew one another, she wasn’t sure how Rachel would have become friends with the other girl. The unknown girl was older, a bit chubby, and very plain looking, so it was clear that it wasn’t another dance student. The pair got off the tram together at the intersection of Williams Road and High Street in Prahran, chatted for a bit while standing in front of a car dealership, then walked off together.
Thanks to Allison and her freakish memory, the police finally decided that maybe Rachel’s disappearance was worth looking into after all. Even though they had been positive she ran off on her own, this new eyewitness account called their previously unwavering belief into question by corroborating what the Barbers had been telling them all along. Allison worked with a police artist to create a sketch of the unidentified girl, and the sketch was plastered on the front page of every newspaper.
The police asked the Barbers to come into the station and look at the sketch to see if they could identify the person. Elizabeth had a hint of recognition with the sketch, but she couldn’t put her finger on exactly who it was. Something about the eyes and chin on the girl were unmistakably familiar to her, she just couldn’t figure out where she had seen this person before.
However, since the police were finally taking the case seriously, they had something to help jog Elizabeth’s memory. They handed her the list of incoming calls to their home that they previously claimed they couldn’t get from the phone company, and Elizabeth was surprised by what she read.
On the night before Rachel disappeared, she had taken two nearly back to back phone calls totaling about an hour. Her parents assumed she was on the phone with Manni like she was every night, but according to the phone company’s records those calls had come in from 20 year old Caroline Reed Robertson. Elizabeth immediately recognized the name, as well as the fact that it was the name of the girl in the sketch, but what she couldn’t figure out was why Rachel and Caroline were together.
When their old neighbours David and Gail Reid had gotten divorced, their daughter Caroline took Gail’s maiden name. The family knew Caroline, but she and Rachel weren’t friends. Caroline babysat for the Barbers, but the girls were five years apart in age and didn’t really have anything in common. And as far as she knew, none of them had seen or spoken to Caroline since December of 1997 when they moved out of Mont Albert.
That’s what Elizabeth thought at first anyway, but Michael realized he had seen Caroline recently when he took Ashleigh-Rose to Elizabeth Reid’s birthday party at a public pool. Michael left Rachel alone in the car while he went to go talk to Gail, and he saw Caroline go over to the car to talk to Rachel. He hadn’t thought anything of it at the time, because why would he? It was their old neighbour and babysitter, and she probably just wanted to catch up a little.
Michael and Elizabeth didn’t know it at the time, but there had been a couple other calls from Caroline to their house as well. One of them actually took place that very day while they were in the police station. The missing posters had the Barber’s home phone number on them, and they had been receiving a lot of calls with potential tips, as well as people just offering their well wishes.
Elizabeth’s brother Andrew was at their house fielding those calls when the Barbers were at the police station, and he took notes of every person that called. One of those calls came from Caroline, who offered her condolences and gave her phone number in case the Barbers needed anything from her.
The other call had come in the previous summer, and it was Ashleigh-Rose who answered the phone that time. Caroline claimed that she was working on a school project and needed information about their family. Specific information, like everybody’s date of birth. That obviously sounds immediately suspicious, but Ashleigh-Rose was only 9 or 10 at the time, and Caroline was a trusted family friend and the big sister of her friend Elizabeth.
There was no reason for her to think it was out of the ordinary, and it’s not like most people keep their birthday a secret.
Elizabeth Barber didn’t know about either of those phone calls yet, but she did remember another school project and another phone call. Back when they were in Mont Albert, Caroline had taken pictures of Rachel, allegedly for a school project. Photography was a common high school class at the time, so Caroline wanting to take pictures of Rachel for school wouldn’t have seemed very weird.
But the next year, after the Barbers had moved away, Rachel received a phone call from Caroline. She claimed that she could get Rachel real modeling work, and remembering this suddenly made things start to click for Elizabeth. Rachel had told Elizabeth about that phone call, and she was certainly willing to at least entertain the idea, but as far as she knew Caroline had never actually followed up on it. Could this be the job with an old friend that Rachel had told Manni about, the one where she would get free clothes and enough money to buy those expensive sneakers?
It certainly made sense on the surface, but Rachel had told Elizabeth about the previous phone call when it happened. Why would she suddenly feel the need to keep it a secret? Elizabeth didn’t have all of the answers, but it was more than enough to get the police moving to investigate Caroline. Box Hill and Richmond had even decided to work together now, further calling into question why they couldn’t do that in the first place.
The Barbers became a bit hopeful, though. If Rachel was for some reason with Caroline, then maybe she was still alive.
On Wednesday, March 10th, police showed up to the telecommunications company where Caroline worked, but she had called in sick that day. She had called in the day of Rachel’s disappearance as well, and multiple times throughout the previous week, which was extremely out of character for Caroline. One day she had even shown up to work, but was so visibly ill that her boss offered to drive her home.
Just after noon on Friday March 12th the Richmond police showed up to knock on the door of Caroline’s Prahran apartment. There was no answer so they left, but they returned at around 5:30 pm. Among the officers that arrived was Detective Neil Paterson. Again there was no answer at the door, but this time they went to the apartment manager to get the spare key. They unlocked the door, but were unable to enter. It had been deadbolted from the inside, which meant that Caroline must be hiding inside the apartment.
They called the fire department to assist them, probably because fire engines are equipped with axes while the average police cruiser is unlikely to have a battering ram in the trunk. But breaking down the door wasn’t going to be necessary, instead they could use a ladder to enter Caroline’s apartment through an open window. The window happened to be for Caroline’s bedroom, and when firefighters entered the room the first thing they saw was Caroline’s body lying on the floor.
The door was unlocked for the police, and Paterson took the unconscious girl to the hospital for treatment. She had suffered an epileptic seizure, something she had been dealing with for a few years at that point, and it’s believed that the stress of the police knocking on her door caused her to seize. It would be a few hours before she was awake and doctors would allow her to be questioned by the police, but by the time she woke up there was going to be an awful lot to talk about.
At a glance, everything about Caroline’s apartment was extremely suspicious. She had been calling in sick to work, but at least half of her belongings were taped up in moving boxes, with a number of other boxes still in the process of being packed. It certainly seemed like she was trying to pack up and leave in a hurry. There was also an empty bottle of green hair dye in the bathroom, and when they found Caroline there had been green streaks in her hair.
She wasn’t known for dying her hair, especially unnatural colours, so this was already unusual as well.
In the kitchen were two unopened bottles of alcohol and two boxes of pizza, each partially eaten. There was also a pair of bags filled with size 8 clothing. These clothes were far too small for Caroline, but they were the perfect size for Rachel. That’s all stuff that, upon a very cursory glance of the apartment, would at the very least raise a lot of questions and suspicion. But taking a moment to look more closely, the bedroom was filled with one smoking gun after another.
Caroline was a compulsive note-taker, and had a clear obsession with Rachel. The police found years’ worth of handwritten transcripts of every conversation Caroline had ever had with Rachel, indicating that the fixation had been in place for years. That’s something Rachel had been at least partly aware of, because when she was 12 she mentioned to a friend how weird it was that her 17 year old babysitter seemed to really want to be friends with her. But the Barbers had always thought that Caroline was a little weird and withdrawn, so maybe they thought she just wanted friends wherever she could find them.
Not only was the obsession with Rachel clear, but so too was Caroline’s plan. Based on numerous uses of the name in her writing, it seemed that Caroline planned to change her name to Jem Southall. Just like she had taken her mother’s maiden name, she was now planning to take Rachel’s mother’s maiden name. But where the first name Jem came from is anyone’s guess.
For all we know it was a reference to Jem and the Holograms. Caroline viewed Rachel as being some sort of perfect rock star that everybody adored, so using the fictional celebrity’s name wouldn’t have been truly outrageous.
However, Caroline might not have been planning on changing her own name. Using the information she received during the phone call to Ashleigh-Rose, Caroline had been able to request a copy of Rachel’s birth certificate. The fake backstory for Jem Southall said that she was a 16 year old “rev head”, Australian slang for somebody obsessed with muscle cars.
She obviously couldn’t turn back time and actually become 16 years old, but with the birth certificate she could potentially pose as Rachel while requesting a name change, thus making Caroline Reed Robertson disappear forever. That’s just speculation as many of the more specific details of Caroline’s plan were never revealed, but it certainly seems to fit.
There were a lot of written descriptions of Rachel amongst Caroline’s notebooks that highlighted just how jealous she was. As far as she was concerned, Rachel was the perfect girl living the perfect life. Caroline wrote of her, “Rachel was always ‘wild’. Let run barefoot in the country.
Began dating very young. Very talented at classical ballet (rebelled and gave up a few times). Tried modelling. Dropped out of school early Year 9.
Began new dance school. Strikingly attractive - dancer’s body. Very clear pale skin, hypnotic green eyes, dyed hair lots of different colours.”
Immediately followed by that in the same notebook was written, “On the way to dance school, say that she can’t tell anyone that she’s meeting me as I’m not allowed to give the study results to anyone - ethics - highly confidential. Not even your boyfriend/parent. Drug Rachel (toxic over mouth), put body into army bags and disfigure and dump somewhere way out. No car - meet in toilet block - no cameras, people come into the city (maybe to meet friends?)
get birth cert - as we will both go licenses together then drug her.”
That is already very much an example of (barely coherently) writing down your crimes, but there was more. Another note read, “Missing people applying for things like birth certificates – is there a list that it is checked against? Where do rights of the missing person come into place (6 years?)
private detectives. Rent a box so Rachel can’t be traced … Rachel - final section of psychology study needs to pack a small backpack as you’re running away (wallet, $, ID (session) etc., photo, clothes, teddy, ballet shoes), highly confidential - for the study to work properly - you can’t tell anybody about this. $100 plus costs (transport) catch train to city $2.30 max (full). Meet her outside Flinders (cameras).
Order pizza and lace with drowsy powder. After that, go through significe (sic) of bag things, then relaxation techniques, then toxic cloth over mouth - use Armybag + and dump off far far away. Dump bag separately then I’ll drive you home.”
Whatever Caroline had done, it was clearly premeditated. Considering the phone call with Ashleigh-Rose had been months earlier, Caroline was almost certainly planning the murder for at least that long. Based on how long and extensive the obsession appeared to be, there’s a good chance it was much longer than that. But regardless, even if those two previous notes were a bit difficult to parse while reading them, they were very clearly a confession.
Caroline planned to drug, disfigure, and murder Rachel, then dump her body far away.
At around 10 pm doctors finally allowed police to interview Caroline. She claimed that she couldn’t remember much about what happened on the night of March 1st, but she did know that Rachel was dead. She claimed the death was an accident, and that she had buried Rachel on some farmland that her father owned.
The next day police headed out to David Reid’s property and interviewed the neighbours. Witnesses claimed to have seen Caroline there the other night dragging a heavy bag up towards some trees. Police went to the area the neighbours had pointed out and spotted a grave marker. When they investigated the grave it was labeled “Lucy”, which was the Reid’s old pet dog, but they also saw an area of recently disturbed dirt.
There, buried in a shallow grave, was the heavily decomposed body of Rachel Barber. The murder weapon, a phone cord, was still tightly wrapped around her neck. The sort of thing that was definitely not an accident. With the body being found exactly where Caroline said it would be, not to mention all the other evidence, Caroline was arrested and officially charged with murder on March 13th, 1999.
Guilty…But Why?
This now brings us to the most confusing part of the case: what was the motive? It was clear from her notes that Caroline was extremely jealous of Rachel. In the sentencing hearing, the judge even opined that the written plan to disfigure Rachel’s body was an indication of the level of jealousy that Caroline felt over Rachel’s beauty.
It’s also clear that Caroline absolutely hated herself. There were a lot of handwritten notes in her apartment, but the two that received the most attention were her self-portraits. One of them was labeled as “aged 14”, meaning that she held onto the drawing of herself for 6 years. The unflattering drawing was covered in pimples and surrounded by words like “loser”, “useless”, “worthless”, “boring”, “jealous”, “hopeless”, “obese”, and so on.
There were a couple short poems written alongside the drawing as well. One read, “If the plastic surgeon lived overseas, what a good swimmer Carrie would be.” The other said, “God made the seas/God made the lakes/God made me/Well, we all make mistakes.” The other drawing was more of the same, though it focused more on her specific physical characteristics, such as her “big nose” and “pizza face”.
But if there was anybody Caroline hated more than herself, it was her parents. She absolutely abhorred her mother in every way imaginable. She also loathed her father, though not quite as much as her mother. There was no doubt that Caroline hated him as well, but she was also desperate for his approval and attention.
Ever since the divorce when David left Gail alone with their daughters, Caroline had written multiple long letters to her father in her desperate plea for recognition, attention, or maybe just any reaction at all.
In one of the letters to her father, Caroline wrote of her mother, “Why didn’t she just have an abortion? Sometimes it makes me sick to my stomach that I was produced out of her.” That’s pretty intense, and it’s speculated that there was a lot going on that has never been disclosed. There are whispers and allegations of various types of abuse that Caroline may have suffered growing up, but there is nothing definitive and she never levied any of those accusations herself.
For her part, Caroline has remained quiet about her past, as well as various details concerning the crime.
As such, all we can go on are the facts of the case from her point of view. But so far, based on her writings, the motive doesn’t make any logical sense. Caroline hated herself, and believed that Rachel’s life was all the things she had wanted for herself. She wanted to be Rachel, and it was as if she was under the delusion that Highlander rules would somehow apply; by killing Rachel, she could somehow steal her power and knowledge and in effect become the girl that she so deeply idolized.
Again, this doesn’t make any logical sense. It’s further confounded by the fact that Caroline wasn’t trying to steal the life Rachel was living. Her plan seemed to be to briefly assume Rachel’s identity for the sole purpose of changing her identity. If her delusion led her to believe that she could genuinely become Rachel by killing her, why would she then need to change her identity afterwards?
These questions don’t have answers, and it’s not believed Caroline did either. Despite having meticulously planned out the murder, her actions and lack of notes on the topic indicate that she didn’t really think through what was going to happen afterwards.
Here are the events from Caroline’s point of view to highlight just how poorly prepared she was for what she was actually doing. These are the events as best as can be determined by the evidence available and by what little Caroline has actually said.
On the night of February 28th, Caroline called Rachel with an opportunity to make some money. Based on her notes, her plan was to claim that it was a confidential, psychological study for something or other. She insisted that Rachel could not tell anyone where she was going for ethical reasons, but they would meet the following day after school. Caroline also instructed Rachel on what she would need to bring with her for the study, essentially telling her to pack a bag as if she was running away.
Once Rachel disappeared, this would give the illusion that she really had run away.
Caroline called in sick to work the next day, then met up with Rachel. The two took the tram back to Caroline’s apartment where she ordered some pizza for them. She coated Rachel’s pizza with a large dose of antihistamine (which was found in the autopsy), and offered her some alcohol to increase the drowsing effects of the medication. Rachel declined the alcohol, but she didn’t notice the taste of the medication.
After eating, Caroline suggested that they try some relaxation techniques, essentially just buying time while the medicine took effect. She also asked Rachel to go over the significance of the items she had brought with her to fake run away. This was probably to better understand the girl she was hoping to become, though it may have just been a way to keep Rachel talking so she could monitor exactly how much the antihistamines were knocking Rachel out. Once Rachel was asleep, or close to it, Caroline grabbed the phone cord she was going to use to strangle Rachel with.
According to the prison psychiatrist that was tasked with meeting with Caroline before her trial, she claimed to be in an almost trancelike state while this was all happening. Caroline told the psychologist that, as she stood there holding the phone cord, she had a brief moment of lucidity. She was suddenly aware of what was going on and she didn’t want to do it, but she felt like she had to. She believed that she was already in so much trouble that there was no turning back, even though that was definitely not the case.
Caroline had lied to a girl and given her Benadryl which isn’t great, but it’s a far cry from murder. All she had to do in her moment of clarity was realize that she could stop what she was doing, let Rachel sleep off the drugs, then just give her the $100 she promised and say that the study went well but she wouldn’t be able to share the results of it with Rachel. Unfortunately, we already know Caroline didn’t think things through so clearly, and after that brief moment she went back into a daze and followed through with her plan. She wrapped Rachel’s body in a couple of blankets and hid it in her bedroom closet.
The next day Caroline went to work as normal, but her coworkers all said that she looked pale and exhausted. An hour into her shift, her boss gave her a ride home so she could rest. But she didn’t actually rest. She made two phone calls to her father, and he actually drove down to check on her because she said she was sick.
She also called her coworker, Donna, because she had previously lent Donna $320 and needed the money back now. Her story was that she was moving some stuff to her father’s house and she needed the money to rent a van.
On Wednesday, March 3rd, Caroline called into work sick again, but she also called Donna twice before work started to harass her about the money. She went to Donna’s house that morning to collect $100 from her, and Donna drove them to an ATM to take out another $100. Afterwards Caroline went home and Donna went to work. That afternoon, Caroline called for a taxi to take her to her father’s property.
She had the taxi driver help her load Rachel’s body into the trunk, claiming that it was a sculpture she was transporting. Once they arrived, she dragged the bag up the hill and buried Rachel where the police would find her.
Caroline did show up to work on Thursday and Friday, and on Thursday she even mentioned Rachel’s disappearance to her coworkers. She stated that an old family friend of hers had gone missing, but that she wasn’t really concerned because Rachel used to run away all the time. We know that isn’t true at all, but they had no reason to suspect otherwise.
The only thing of note that Caroline is known to have done over the weekend was to place the call to the Barbers on Sunday to offer her condolences, but the next day was when things started going down. Caroline again called in to work, but this was the day that police showed up to ask her some questions. Donna called Caroline to tell her the cops had been there, but she reiterated her previous lie about Rachel running away all the time and not being concerned.
In reality she was extremely concerned, because now the cops were closing in on her. She hung up the phone and immediately went to the bank to request a $10,000 loan, claiming she needed the money to buy a car. That obviously wasn’t the case, especially since she didn’t even have a driver’s license, but there was no way the bank would have approved the loan if she said she needed it to help her flee from the cops and get plastic surgery.
Caroline continued calling in sick to work, and the next day she also called the bank no less than three times to check on the status of her loan. Those repeated calls would have been a pretty big red flag to whoever was in charge of approving loans, but she was getting desperate.
That Friday, at which point the bank had still not made a decision on the loan, Caroline again started making repeated calls to Donna to try to collect the other $120 she was owed. But by this point it was too late. That evening the police found Caroline in her apartment and brought her to the hospital before arresting her.
The point of looking at these events from Caroline’s point of view, and filling in some of the blanks with her obviously suspicious and desperate behaviour, is to highlight how poorly thought out this part of the plan was. Her notes showed detailed plans for exactly how she was going to kill Rachel and the measures she was going to take to avoid detection, such as meeting her in a bathroom where there wouldn’t be any cameras. But there were no plans for afterwards. It’s as if she genuinely believed that, as if by magic, she would instantly be transformed into a different person following the murder.
Initially following her arrest, Caroline maintained her innocence. She pled not guilty, claiming that she buried the body but that she wasn’t the one that killed Rachel. According to her, the real killer was some guys. A couple of guys did it, then they made her bury Rachel’s body on her father’s land.
Despite Caroline meticulously writing down her crimes, her first lawyer actually believed this story. Ironically, the faith he had in his client was also the reason he was fired. She didn’t want somebody stupid enough to believe that “bullshit story” (her words) to represent her in court. And rightfully so.
Caroline was going to have to stay in prison while she awaited trial, and at first things didn’t go well. She suffered repeated epileptic fits and engaged in self harm in her cell, but these behaviours didn’t last long. She wound up adjusting to life in prison very quickly. According to the psychologists, she had adjusted entirely too quickly and was settling into prison overly well. She began to see the inmates as her family, and quickly became dependent on the other inmates and the prison itself.
It took about a year and a half before the case was finally heard before a judge, though a lot of this delay was because of Caroline’s initial insistence on pleading not guilty. However, after firing her first lawyer for being dumb enough to believe her lies, she was represented by esteemed lawyer Colin Lovitt.
Colin was a huge deal. He spent 45 years as a lawyer and was defense counsel on around 200 murder cases, some of which were extremely high profile. When he passed away in 2021, the Sydney Morning Herald referred to him as the “barrister with a heart of gold” and one of Australia’s “best fighters for the underdog”. This sort of case was his exact wheelhouse, and if there was anybody that could get Caroline acquitted it was going to be Colin.
Thanks to Colin’s extensive experience defending clients against murder charges, the trial was over in a single day. Australia’s best fighter for the underdog had convinced Caroline to walk into the courtroom, plead guilty, and just pray they didn’t sentence her to life in prison. Because she was very obviously guilty, and there was no judge or jury stupid enough to believe otherwise, even if there had been one lawyer who was. It is the job of a lawyer to be a zealous advocate for their client, and this statement was how Colin could best advocate for Caroline:
“Rachel had everything going for her, and Caroline had nothing going for her. Caroline ultimately decided, in the most illogical fashion, that she would take the life of a child, because she could then in some way become that child, or at least have the qualities of that person as she perceived them to be. Her motivations we can only guess at. I have certainly not come across the more frustrating or irrational taking of a human life. We can’t explain it. She won’t let us.”
So the best defense that the experienced, high profile criminal lawyer could come up with was “I can’t explain her motive.” And despite Caroline being seen by multiple mental health experts, nobody could explain it. She clearly had some sort of mental health issue or personality disorder, but as far as can be told she was never given a specific diagnosis. Nothing about what she did made sense.
The best explanation was that she thought she could become Rachel by killing her, though even this delusion lacked any internal logic. But regardless of whether or not the motive made sense, she had pled guilty to the crime. All that was left was the sentencing.
This was not an easy task for Justice Frank Vincent, nor should it have been. There was so much to consider that, ignoring the cover letter, Vincent’s decision was 19 pages long. There was a lot in there, so here are the most important highlights.
First, Caroline was young and a first time offender. She had also chosen to plead guilty rather than wasting the court’s time on a trial. That’s really just basic sentencing guidelines stuff rather than being specific to this case, but it still had to be considered.
More relevant to Caroline in particular was the troubling lack of details regarding her past and her motive. Colin had hinted at the possibility of abuse from her parents, but he couldn’t come out and say anything directly. Caroline had refused to allow such discussions to occur in court, and she went to considerable lengths to prevent her lawyer, psychiatrist, and psychologists from saying anything in court regarding such allegations.
According to her psychiatrist, even though she logically understood that no explanation she gave would make the crime of murder worse, “Caroline, in some ways, [was] not a young woman facing trial for an awful murder. At a fantasy level, she [was] still a young child in trouble where revelation of motive brings the prospect of even more fearful punishment.” Vincent also expressed concern over how dependent Caroline was becoming on the prison system.
It had taken very little time for her to start calling the prison “home” and the other inmates her family, which was concerning. If she was sentenced to anything other than life in prison, that meant she would eventually have to leave; she’d even still be pretty young when she got out, relatively speaking. Keeping her locked up too long had a strong chance of causing her to become institutionalized, but she still had to be locked up long enough to hopefully be rehabilitated.
Of course, since it was unknown what childhood trauma she had experienced or what her actual motive was for the murder, it was difficult to say just how much rehabilitation she needed. For that matter, it was difficult to say if rehabilitation was even possible. There was a lot to consider, and deciding on a sentence in situations like these is an unenviable job. There were a lot of arguments both for and against leniency, and it was clear that Caroline had been broken so badly that it went beyond low self esteem to a point of genuine self hatred.
But regardless of how troubled or damaged Caroline may have been, perhaps the most important statement in Vincent’s decision was this: “At this stage at least, you represent a real danger to any who may become the unfortunate subject of your fixation.” Ultimately Vincent decided that Caroline would be sentenced to 20 years in prison, of which 14.5 had to be served before she would be eligible for parole.
However, there was another concern in the courtroom that day that wasn’t contained within the judge’s decision. Michael and Elizabeth Barber were in attendance, and they were troubled by Caroline’s appearance. Especially Michael. Not only had Caroline become worryingly accustomed to life in prison, but prison really seemed to be agreeing with her as well. When she arrived in court, she was completely unrecognizable. Caroline had dropped 60 pounds, her curly hair was now straight and dyed, and the acne riddled skin she always hated so much was now completely clear. According to Michael, “there [was] a Rachel likeness there. The eyes, I kept thinking she looks like someone I know. Then I thought ‘bloody Hell’, it has that feel about Rachel. At first glance it’s kind of weird, everything is different, but she still has that look.” It wasn’t just her appearance, either. The once friendless outcast didn’t have a single enemy in prison, something that was seen as unusual. Instead, she seemed to be as well liked in prison as Rachel had been in school. On the other hand, Elizabeth didn’t agree that Caroline now looked like Rachel. Instead, Elizabeth thought that she looked like a German cocaine smuggler that was housed in the same prison. The smuggler was a friend of Caroline’s, and perhaps the unfortunate new subject of her fixation. Aftermath In 2003, three years after Caroline’s sentence was passed, Elizabeth published the book Perfect Victim about Rachel’s death. The book was a collaboration between Elizabeth and true crime journalist Megan Norris. Elizabeth detailed Rachel’s life, the family’s heartbreak over their loss, and their struggle to convince the police that Rachel wasn’t just another teen runaway, while Megan focused on the psychological analysis of Caroline in an attempt to explain what many experts had described as the most bizarre murder they had ever heard of. The book was adapted into the 2009 film In Her Skin. That same year, Manni released his first pop singles, with his album dropping in 2005. His first three singles all charted, with the most successful one peaking at number 7 in Australia. Unsurprisingly, it was believed that all of these songs were about Rachel, and Manni openly admitted that many of his songs were in fact about her. He never got over the loss of Rachel, and as far as can be told he hasn’t dated anybody since. Caroline had been convicted in 2000, but the time she spent in prison awaiting trial was counted towards her sentence, as is standard practice. She had been held without bail before trial, partly at the request of her own father who believed that she would kill again if released. He even had five specific girls in mind that he thought could be potential targets of Caroline. That meant that by 2013, 14.5 years had elapsed and Caroline was now eligible for parole. Manni’s previous statement, as well as his admission that he had been suffering panic attacks at the thought of Caroline’s release, was part of the large public outcry to deny her parole. The Barbers unsurprisingly also spoke out against parole, at least for the time being. Among other concerns, they hadn’t once seen Caroline since the sentencing hearing. It’s not like they wanted to have any sort of relationship with her, but they had no idea what she looked like anymore. In the 18 months between her arrest and her sentencing Caroline had become completely unrecognizable, so with 13 more years having passed there was no telling what she would look like now. The idea that Rachel’s killer could be back on the street and they wouldn’t even know her if they saw her was a terrifying proposition. But even if they did know what she looked like, they still didn’t want her out yet. Most importantly, they feared that she would still be a danger to others if she was released. Of course, they also understood that Caroline couldn’t stay in jail forever. They did want her to be paroled at some point, though it was for a very specific reason. If Caroline served her full sentence, then she’d be released and that would be the end of it. But if she was paroled, she would have to be legally monitored to ensure that she wasn’t violating the conditions of her release. Elizabeth was interviewed by reporters while protesting the potential release, and she said that she wanted Caroline to serve 17 or 18 years so that there’d be 2-3 years following her release where she was being monitored. Though Caroline’s parole was denied in 2013, she was released in 2015 at the age of 36 after serving 16 years of her sentence. She was going to be living on the opposite side of Victoria from the Barbers where she would hopefully not be a threat to them, nor interact with them in any way. They had no interest in speaking with Caroline, who in her 16 years behind bars never once expressed any remorse for taking Rachel’s life, at least not explicitly. Leading up to her sentencing Caroline had told her psychiatrist that she couldn’t sleep at night because she was haunted by her actions, but Judge Vincent believed this to be self pity over her situation rather than actual remorse for what she had done. For the eight years since her release, Caroline has lived a quiet, anonymous life far away from the Barbers. According to Elizabeth, “I don’t think she is dangerous to us, but I don’t want her to be dangerous to anybody.” Wrap Up The term “senseless tragedy” gets thrown around a lot, but while those events are often tragic, they still usually make sense. There is generally a clear motive, even if that motive was based on a warped sense of reality. Or, barring a clear motive, we can often determine that the person was straight up insane and completely detached from reality. In such an instance we may not understand how the person thought, but we can at least make sense of what happened in that the perpetrator was an irrational crazy person. Neither of those are the case here, and Rachel Barber’s death truly was a senseless tragedy. Caroline was known to be a logical and intelligent person, and by all accounts she was not insane. Despite the best efforts of countless professionals to explain her motivation, it continues to defy all reason. Caroline simply won’t let it make sense. That brings us to the only lesson that can be learned from all this: don’t fuck up your kids. More specifically, don’t fuck them up so badly that they refuse to tell anybody what you’ve done to them, even after they’ve already been convicted of murder. Rachel’s death was a devastating loss for her friends and family, but they have continued to move forward rather than allowing grief to consume and destroy them. Ashleigh-Rose and Heather have their own families now, and Manni is a loving uncle and godfather. And of course, Rachel’s loved ones have all continued to honour the memory of the short but remarkable life she led through songs, writing, and angry phone calls to disrespectful morning radio hosts. Since Elizabeth is a published author, we’ll leave you with her words instead: “Rachel’s death has put fear into the hearts of many parents. We can protect our children as much as it is humanly possible. We can love and shelter them as they grow up. We can warn them against the obvious dangers and perils of life, but how can we warn them against all people. I just thank god we had Rachel for 15 years, because, as I have said to friends, I’d rather have had her for 15 years than not to ever have had her at all.” Key Takeaways Caroline Reed Robertson murdered 15-year-old Rachel Barber in 1999 due to obsessive jealousy and a delusional desire to assume her identity. Police initially dismissed Rachel’s disappearance as a typical runaway case, forcing her parents to conduct their own investigation for days. Caroline meticulously planned the murder in handwritten notes, drugging Rachel with antihistamines before strangling her with a phone cord. Despite extensive psychological evaluation, experts could never fully explain Caroline’s motive or determine if rehabilitation was possible. Caroline served 16 years in prison and was released in 2015, never having explicitly expressed remorse for Rachel’s murder. Frequently Asked Questions Who was Rachel Barber and what was she known for?Rachel Barber was born on September 12, 1983 in Glen Alvie, Victoria, Australia. She was an exceptionally talented dancer who trained at the Melbourne Dance Academy and later the Dance Factory in Richmond. She scored work as a backup dancer for Australian rock singer Jimmy Barnes, and was described as a beautiful girl with a dancer’s body, clear pale skin, and hypnotic green eyes. Who was Caroline Reed Robertson and how did she know Rachel?Caroline Reed Robertson was the older daughter of the Reid family, who lived across the street from the Barbers in Mont Albert. She was almost five years older than Rachel and sometimes babysat for Rachel and her sisters. The families became friends, though Caroline and Rachel were not close friends due to the age difference. What was Caroline’s plan for murdering Rachel?Caroline planned to lure Rachel to her apartment under the pretense of a confidential psychological study. She instructed Rachel to pack a bag as if running away, drugged her pizza with antihistamines, and then strangled her with a phone cord. She had detailed notes about drugging Rachel, putting her body in army bags, disfiguring her, and dumping her body far away. She also planned to assume Rachel’s identity briefly to change her name to ‘Jem Southall’ using Rachel’s birth certificate. How did the police initially respond to Rachel’s disappearance?The Box Hill police department responded extremely poorly. They dismissed the Barbers’ concerns, telling them Rachel had probably just run away and would come home. They lost the initial report, failed to show up at Rachel’s school to interview people as promised, refused to request phone records or school friend lists, and told the Barbers to see a therapist and focus on their other daughters. They actively tried to prove Rachel had run away rather than investigating other possibilities. What key evidence led police to Caroline?An eyewitness named Allison, who had a photographic memory, reported seeing Rachel on a tram with an older, chubby, plain-looking girl at 6:40 pm on March 1st. This led to a police sketch. Phone records then revealed that Caroline Reed Robertson had made two calls to the Barber home the night before Rachel disappeared. Elizabeth Barber recognized Caroline’s name and the sketch, and further investigation revealed Caroline had previously called for family birth dates and had taken photos of Rachel years earlier. What was found in Caroline’s apartment when police searched it?Police found half of Caroline’s belongings packed in moving boxes, green hair dye with streaks in her hair, two unopened bottles of alcohol, two partially eaten pizzas, and bags of size 8 clothing that fit Rachel but not Caroline. Most damning were years of handwritten transcripts of conversations with Rachel, detailed murder plans, self-portraits covered in insults, and notes showing her plan to change her name to ‘Jem Southall’ using Rachel’s identity. What was Caroline’s sentence and when was she released?Caroline was sentenced to 20 years in prison, with 14.5 years to be served before eligibility for parole. She was convicted in 2000 and released in 2015 at age 36 after serving 16 years. Her parole was initially denied in 2013 due to public outcry, including from the Barbers and Manni. How did Rachel’s family and boyfriend Manni respond to Caroline’s potential release?The Barbers and Manni all spoke out against Caroline’s parole. Manni admitted to suffering panic attacks at the thought of her release and stated he still thought about Rachel every day. The Barbers wanted Caroline to serve 17-18 years so she would have 2-3 years of monitored parole rather than serving her full sentence and being released without supervision. They were also concerned they wouldn’t recognize Caroline after her appearance changed dramatically in prison. What book and film were made about Rachel’s murder?In 2003, Elizabeth Barber published the book ‘Perfect Victim’ in collaboration with true crime journalist Megan Norris. Elizabeth detailed Rachel’s life and the family’s struggles, while Norris focused on psychological analysis of Caroline. The book was adapted into the 2009 film ‘In Her Skin.’ Did Caroline ever express remorse for killing Rachel?Caroline never explicitly expressed remorse for taking Rachel’s life in her 16 years behind bars. Before sentencing, she told her psychiatrist she couldn’t sleep because she was haunted by her actions, but Judge Vincent believed this was self-pity over her situation rather than actual remorse for what she had done.
Key Takeaways
- Caroline Reed Robertson murdered 15-year-old Rachel Barber in 1999 due to obsessive jealousy and a delusional desire to assume her identity.
- Police initially dismissed Rachel’s disappearance as a typical runaway case, forcing her parents to conduct their own investigation for days.
- Caroline meticulously planned the murder in handwritten notes, drugging Rachel with antihistamines before strangling her with a phone cord.
- Despite extensive psychological evaluation, experts could never fully explain Caroline’s motive or determine if rehabilitation was possible.
- Caroline served 16 years in prison and was released in 2015, never having explicitly expressed remorse for Rachel’s murder.
Dana Ortiz covers prosecutorial mechanics, evidentiary procedure, and how investigations unwind decades after the original case file went cold.
Frequently Asked Questions
Who was Rachel Barber and what was she known for?
Rachel Barber was born on September 12, 1983 in Glen Alvie, Victoria, Australia. She was an exceptionally talented dancer who trained at the Melbourne Dance Academy and later the Dance Factory in Richmond. She scored work as a backup dancer for Australian rock singer Jimmy Barnes, and was described as a beautiful girl with a dancer’s body, clear pale skin, and hypnotic green eyes.
Who was Caroline Reed Robertson and how did she know Rachel?
Caroline Reed Robertson was the older daughter of the Reid family, who lived across the street from the Barbers in Mont Albert. She was almost five years older than Rachel and sometimes babysat for Rachel and her sisters. The families became friends, though Caroline and Rachel were not close friends due to the age difference.
What was Caroline’s plan for murdering Rachel?
Caroline planned to lure Rachel to her apartment under the pretense of a confidential psychological study. She instructed Rachel to pack a bag as if running away, drugged her pizza with antihistamines, and then strangled her with a phone cord. She had detailed notes about drugging Rachel, putting her body in army bags, disfiguring her, and dumping her body far away. She also planned to assume Rachel’s identity briefly to change her name to ‘Jem Southall’ using Rachel’s birth certificate.
How did the police initially respond to Rachel’s disappearance?
The Box Hill police department responded extremely poorly. They dismissed the Barbers’ concerns, telling them Rachel had probably just run away and would come home. They lost the initial report, failed to show up at Rachel’s school to interview people as promised, refused to request phone records or school friend lists, and told the Barbers to see a therapist and focus on their other daughters. They actively tried to prove Rachel had run away rather than investigating other possibilities.
What key evidence led police to Caroline?
An eyewitness named Allison, who had a photographic memory, reported seeing Rachel on a tram with an older, chubby, plain-looking girl at 6:40 pm on March 1st. This led to a police sketch. Phone records then revealed that Caroline Reed Robertson had made two calls to the Barber home the night before Rachel disappeared. Elizabeth Barber recognized Caroline’s name and the sketch, and further investigation revealed Caroline had previously called for family birth dates and had taken photos of Rachel years earlier.
What was found in Caroline’s apartment when police searched it?
Police found half of Caroline’s belongings packed in moving boxes, green hair dye with streaks in her hair, two unopened bottles of alcohol, two partially eaten pizzas, and bags of size 8 clothing that fit Rachel but not Caroline. Most damning were years of handwritten transcripts of conversations with Rachel, detailed murder plans, self-portraits covered in insults, and notes showing her plan to change her name to ‘Jem Southall’ using Rachel’s identity.
What was Caroline’s sentence and when was she released?
Caroline was sentenced to 20 years in prison, with 14.5 years to be served before eligibility for parole. She was convicted in 2000 and released in 2015 at age 36 after serving 16 years. Her parole was initially denied in 2013 due to public outcry, including from the Barbers and Manni.
How did Rachel’s family and boyfriend Manni respond to Caroline’s potential release?
The Barbers and Manni all spoke out against Caroline’s parole. Manni admitted to suffering panic attacks at the thought of her release and stated he still thought about Rachel every day. The Barbers wanted Caroline to serve 17-18 years so she would have 2-3 years of monitored parole rather than serving her full sentence and being released without supervision. They were also concerned they wouldn’t recognize Caroline after her appearance changed dramatically in prison.
What book and film were made about Rachel’s murder?
In 2003, Elizabeth Barber published the book ‘Perfect Victim’ in collaboration with true crime journalist Megan Norris. Elizabeth detailed Rachel’s life and the family’s struggles, while Norris focused on psychological analysis of Caroline. The book was adapted into the 2009 film ‘In Her Skin.‘
Did Caroline ever express remorse for killing Rachel?
Caroline never explicitly expressed remorse for taking Rachel’s life in her 16 years behind bars. Before sentencing, she told her psychiatrist she couldn’t sleep because she was haunted by her actions, but Judge Vincent believed this was self-pity over her situation rather than actual remorse for what she had done.
Sources
- Original Casual Criminalist video: Obsession Turned Deadly - Rachel Barber and Caroline Reed Robertson
- Hero image source by Ballsy26 / openverse, by-sa.
